Losing your job is a huge blow to the self-esteem. Our culture believes that success or failure at work is entirely down to the individual, and that those who are unemployed are in that situation because they lazy, not trying hard enough, or are flawed in some way. So when you lose your job you start to think “what’s wrong with me?”
In addition we tend to define people by what they do. Almost the first thing people ask when they meet for the first time is “what do you do”? It’s very hard to say “I’m unemployed”. Even when people admit it, they will add something like “I’ve got an interview next week, and I’ve got savings, so I’m OK”, even if it is not true. And then they try to reinforce normalcy by contining to maintain their lifestyle as though nothing huge has happened. They continue to accept invitations for a lunch at restaurants, even if they can’t really afford it, what with being out of work. They continue to buy the same premium groceries and to try to live exactly as they were before.
In one case I know of, the employer was in such serious trouble that they hadn’t paid their staff for a few months. You would think in those circumstances, the staff would be worried out of their minds, trying not to put a cent more on the credit card than they had to (they were all living on credit cards by this time), and trying hard to find other work. Not a bit of it. They simply carried on as normal with their lives, with the Friday ritual of an after-work pizza, the lot. They believed the company’s assurances that it was just a cash-flow problem which would get fixed shortly and didn’t take defensive action, apart from coining witty jokes about the situation. It ended only when one member decided enough was enough and quit, which broke the spell everyone was under, and caused other people to say they were thinking of leaving too, at which point the company admitted it was in such deep trouble that they were not certain they could pay the payments that had been missed.
Denial can be very expensive. If you lose your job, don’t be proud. Simply cut back on everything and tell your friends you won’t be able to do anything expensive for a while. Most will understand and not press you. If telling people is too much to bear, then simply avoid them for the duration using a few creative excuses to spare your blushes (”I can’t go out on the town on Saturday night, my Mom’s visiting”).
Clamp down on your expenses hard. Accept any work you can get, just to ensure you have some money coming in so you don’t burn through your savings so fast. Temping is a good way to get into another organisation, (you’ll see job adverts before the general public, and by networking and doing a good job you can ensure that you are well-placed to secure any permanent positions available).
The other reaction to losing your job is anger. Which is entirely normal (and in some cases justified). But don’t go marching into your bosses office and telling them exactly what you think of them. And don’t take revenge by sabotaging the company (for example deleting or altering software code). And don’t go slagging them off online either, even if you are using a pseudonym. It’s not really safe (people can be tracked).
In any given town, most industries are pretty small, so the same people rotate within a group of companies. Say you are in accounting - it’s safe to say that in a few years, someone will join your firm that you have worked with previously. Or you will join a new firm, and then find that some of your new colleagues are actually people you’ve encountered and worked with before. People have long memories, so be professional and don’t do or say anything that you will regret. If you have to let off steam, do so in person with someone you can trust completely, like your mother, spouse or best friend. You can then say whatever you want with the added bonus that of course they are on your side and agree with your totally.
